As most of you know and some new friends may not – I don’t have biological children of my own. What I do have is Bella; my 3-year-old Dachshund. Bella is very VERY special to me in many ways, but the reason I am writing to you about her today is because Bella has something in common with you that I wanted to share.
Bella has suffered three ‘phantom’ pregnancies. After Bella had her first season she developed a phantom pregnancy, and this re-occurred twice more before we were able to resolve the issue. Whilst Bella was experiencing her phantom pregnancies, she unequivocally believed she was pregnant. She lost her appetite, she nested, and her body even begun to produce milk.
It was very distressing for us all.
I think this is interesting for us to think about for two reasons.
Firstly, Bella is very often with me when I do consultations with those trying to get pregnant. Our home office is filled with the energy of those trying to have a baby. Helping those on their journey to parenthood is what I do every day, with success. Am I mad to think that Bella has picked up on this baby energy? Vets tell me that phantom pregnancies in puppies are not that rare – but three of them back-to-back certainly is.
What do you make of that? Does that sound plausible, or do you think it’s all a bit ‘out there’?
Well listen, I’m with you. I don’t totally know what to make of it. But what I know for certain is the impact the loss of these pregnancies had on Bella. You see, in Bella’s mind, she lost three litters of babies. Sadly, Bella never really recovered. Well, she is healthy, and she is well – but part of her brain has remained in a fight/flight/freeze response. It’s a little like a PTSD. The loss for Bella, and I think you’ll agree if you have suffered miscarriage, is devastating. Bella is currently taking anti-depressants and medication for her anxiety.
I sometimes tell women about Bella when they find themselves minimising their own miscarriage or loss. What we have here is an example of the primitive pain and suffering associated with infertility – without all the imposed societal constructs of how you should feel or how you expect you should feel.
What is healing for Bella is love, kindness and acceptance. Three things fundamental to the Conceiving Conception method that I practise and tell you more about in my workbook.
Lots of love, Louise. And Bella.