I want to share with you what’s going on in my mind when I talk about your mind. I want to talk about what's been going on in the minds of the scientists and psychologists who've spent their lives looking at minds. So, lets all put our minds together.
I want to explore just how long we, as human beings, have suspected that there is a profound mind-body connection. We need to look at how evolving mindsets, approaches and methods mean that now we're able to bring together the best of all these approaches to help you. Quite simply, it's not just the case that your infertility influences your mind, I am going to try and show you how I believe your mind can also be affecting your fertility.
I truly believe that it is only by taking a deeper, more detailed and holistic approach to your mind (consciously shifting your focus away from any physical interventions) that we will truly be successful. Physical interventions have their place, don’t get me wrong, but it is my absolute conviction that your mind that holds the key.
The Mind-Body Connection
It may come as a shock to hear this but infertility, your infertility, is an auto-immune disease. All auto-immune diseases, some argue, start in the mind. They are psychosomatic illnesses. This means that they are illnesses that have their origin in the mind and subsequently take shape in the body. Some argue that they result from an inability to verbalise emotions. Others believe that they are a defensive response to emotional disintegration. Other theories categorise them as body 'delirium' which stems from depression or as a response to an unresolved conflict.
Whatever the argument, belief or theory, every unexplained infertility patient I have treated points to the same thing; that there is something in their unconscious mind that holds the key to unlocking their chances of having a baby. My job is to help you understand this in the same way and then, through understanding it, we can move on to tackle it.
Let’s consider the array of widely recognised auto-immune diseases. These include multiple sclerosis, psoriasis, arthritis, insulin dependent diabetes, lupus, IBS, chronic fatigue syndrome and a host of other disorders. These all arise when there is an overactive immune system attacking your normal healthy tissue. What we do know is that the mind plays an important role in all of these diseases. And here’s the connection I need you to make - your mind plays a crucial role in your infertility.
So, there are realities that exist in the minds of people that find a way of expression through disease in the body. Put simply, the state of your mind has a direct effect on your immune system, health and wellbeing. Your (unconscious) mind is impacting your body and your fertility. When people come to me, they are all too often seeking my help to handle the grief and stress of their infertility. My frustration is that they are coming to me much too late. They’re seeking counselling for the effect of their infertility; I want to help them with the cause. A cause which, in my experience, has its origins in the mind. So, as I say, let’s put our minds together, and think about how this may apply to you.
By way of example, one patient I treated had battled cancer in her early adulthood and had also suffered a sexual trauma. Her unconscious belief about her body was that, in some way, her body had betrayed her. After several sessions we got to her underlying belief – she believed that she was ‘broken’ in some way. After we had worked together processing her illness and trauma, after removing her sense of shame and reprocessing and healing together, we healed the part of her that felt broken. In that way, we re-connected her to her body. She became consciously whole, and in turn… she became pregnant.
What I’m saying is that if your physical infertility affects you psychologically then, perhaps, the reverse path holds true as well. Any anxiety that you may be feeling right now may not simply be the result of your infertility, it could well be a cause too. What I'm trying to say is that there may be events in your life that need to be bought from your unconscious mind into your conscious mind. The processing of these events will, I believe, pave the way to the outcome you desire so very strongly.
But just how do we get to that part of your mind?