Let me kick this off by asking you a question...
How are you and your womb getting along?
You may be asking yourself why we need to do this.
What’s the point? Your mind – body connection is why.
If you have been trying to conceive for some time, if you’ve suffered miscarriage or if you’re going through IVF treatment unsuccessfully, it’s so common that you will develop a feeling that your body has somewhat ‘betrayed’ you. In some way, you feel like your body has let you down.
Likewise, many women who have been through multiple rounds of IVF tell me that their body almost feels like it doesn’t belong to them anymore, that’s its been “medicalised”. This type of thinking may well resonate with you whatever the stage in your fertility journey you find yourself at.
So, if I may ask you to indulge me, lets try an exercise. We are going to think about your womb.
Womb Visualisation.
What I hope to uncover with this exercise is whether there is a degree of unease that you may feel about your inner workings – specifically your womb. Your womb might be holding a tension where some emotional stress or trauma has occurred. As with the whole Conceiving Conception Workbook, our aim with these exercises is to clear any emotional blockages you may be unconsciously harbouring. I want to help you to prepare to welcome your baby into your womb and into your life.
If I said to you, how do you feel about your womb? What would you say? This is what it looked like in one therapy session.
Louise: Can I ask; if you picture your womb in your mind’s eye – what comes up for you?
Fran: Urrrmmmm I can’t really picture it. I just see like a textbook version.
Louise: Take your time. Think about your body, your womb. What do you see?
Fran: I can’t really explain this, but I want to say its green and thick with tar.
Louise: Okay, interesting… we need to think about this some more.
You see, sometimes just asking the question gives us such information. Without a doubt there was something that Fran felt was 'toxic' about her womb. We explored this together and it actually linked back to a sexual memory for Fran. It needed our attention. It needed some healing, so that it no longer felt toxic for her.
You see, your womb is something unique. As babies, we start learning in the womb. We listened to music; we learned the sounds of our mother’s voice.
This is going to sound silly for me to ask but... how was your gestation? What was it like in the womb when you were forming in there? Do you know the story of your own gestation? Womb visualisation is just one way we can start to think about things differently.
So, for this exercise, I’d like you to think about your womb now. I want you to try and create a picture of it in your mind’s eye, what does it look like? Just give me a few words or sentences here.
My womb is …………
So, let’s review what came up for you. Do any blockages come to mind? How did this make you feel? Any clues that might make your inner therapist sit up and take note?
For many women, it would be fair to say that energetic blockages could exist within the womb. By energetic blockages, I mean that a connection has been blocked, tarnished, maybe even hurt. This leaves us “disconnected” from the womb. To re-establish this connection you will need to consciously clear, heal and rebalance your womb. That starts by listening to your own womb and hearing what she has to say. I know, I know – it sounds very new-age doesn’t it? But let’s go with it.
If your womb could speak right now, what would she say? The first thought that comes to mind is usually, “impregnate me!”. But let’s go deeper, what else may she say? What does she need you to hear?
This exercise is a start point and, based on what you may discover during this special womb journey, you may want to consider consulting your creativity, your significant other, your friend, and even perhaps a therapist on this journey. But let’s try to do this between us for now; what would your inner fertility therapist notice and how do they think they can facilitate healing? Let’s try again;
Try thinking about bringing an awareness to your womb centre and just allow yourself to listen, to feel, sense and experience your womb. Notice, is it warm or cool, dark or light? There may be blockages, there may not be. There may be feelings that you haven’t felt in a long time or may be that you have never felt before.
It’s OK. This is very personal. Just listen and allow yourself to experience your womb.
Breathe, listen and hear the silent echoes of what you and your womb have been through together.
Let your womb know that you are listening to whatever she needs to share
without judgment,
without blame,
without shame.
When you have completed this exercise take a few moments to reflect, write in your journal and talk to others.
As we have considered your relationship with your womb, there is plenty of value in performing the same exercise with your vagina. After all, she has a pretty important role to play too. It may not be a bad idea to ask her similar questions.